but wait there's more

Thursday, June 22, 2006


You just never know who you are going to run into on the streets of NYC. I was leaving a building downtown after having picked up the keys of the office of a couple of friends with whom I am working, when walking in at the same time was Bishop Desmond Tutu. Flabbergasted at meeting one of the world's truly good people, I managed only to turn down his offer to let me out of the building first and defer to let him enter. After our moment passed, I immediately wished that I had said something profound that he would recall in a later speech, something in the neighborhood of "Hey Bishop, that Jesus was a hell of a fella."

I think sometimes we allow the conservative Christians way too much leeway on the whole getting the word out thing. As it is with zealots of every religion, it is the fringe element, propelled by their fears of virtually everything good and great in the world that makes the most noise, making all of the rest of their fellow believers to come across as just as nutty as they are.

I love watching the various televangelists work their magic. Perhaps because I worked in infomercials, which are in essence the love child of carnival barkers and televangelism. The televangelists move their crowds with the same format I used to sell diets and kitchen gadgets: scare the viewer into action by telling what they are missing by not having whatever it is that I was selling. Usually they were missing a happier more fulfilled life; they could free up more time to spend with thier families by buying the Quick Cooker, they could spend more quality time with their kids by losing weight with The Firm, they could live longer and healthier by juicing or using the magical non-stick surface of the Perfect Pancake.

The sad truth is born out by the huge number of people willing to believe that these products, or any product for that matter is going to be some sort of Panacea for a better life. People who by and large purchase the miracle, but have neither the energy nor the true belief that the magic in the Magic Bullet is going to do anything to make their dismal life any better.

Creating that need in people to believe in something was one of the best and worst parts of the job of writing infomercials and the part of the job I had the most trouble coming to terms with.

The same goes for those that sell religion on television. They prey on the spiritual shortcomings that run unchecked through a spritually bereft and largely unhappy society. They feed off of the uniquely Christian fear of what will become of us in the afterlife, using that as their bargain, their Today's Special Value. Their method for getting the masses into spritual shape is the bible. Televangelists treat the bible as if it were the instructions for building a model car, where all of the pieces are numbered and all fit the same way. One book, one interpretation, one solution all for one low price, your complete and utter devotion.

Fortunately, God is a lot smarter that Benny Hinn. He made sure that we would develop different outlooks and beliefs. And while we all may have similar fears, our fears affect us all differently, hence our solutions will all be different.

We are Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, Taoist and a hundred other faiths all acceptable, all valid. Televangelists want everyone to believe in God the same way, they demand of it as if it were an undeniable truth and place scorn upon anyone who fails to measure up to their version of Christianity. In doing so they themselves are denying the reason for Jesus in the first place, the reassurance that as long as a person had faith in God and loves their fellow human, there is always a place at the table.

In infomercials, federal regulators force sellers to take back any product within 30 days of purchase, this is the 30 day guarantee that each infomercial brags about, with no questions asked. You don't want that Rotato after all? Just send it back.

Televangelists and conservative Christians have no such guarantee, their pitch is more decepetive and the cost a lot higher.

Peace.

R